The For the love of… Ice festival begins today and there is a snowflake hunt around the event! These can be particularly tricky little snowflakes to find as the area is very white and glowing and ethereally beautiful and the snowflakes hide well against this background. One of the best ways to hunt is to turn your graphics down to LOW by going into Edit at the top of the screen, then going into Preferences. Choose Graphics from the window that opens and then set to low. This will disable the glow in the area and will make the tricky little things easier to spot.
I think I managed to find all of the snowflakes but there might be a few more that you find that I didnt.
*** PLEASE NOTE THESE ARE AROUND THE EVENT AT THE SLURL ABOVE NOT AT INDIVIDUAL MAINSTORES ***
+ Frozen Glasses – Beauty Killer
+ Lena Necklace – LOULOU&CO
+ Holiday Antlers – Relentless Couture
+ Feeling Undone top & Snug Leggings – Grixdale
+ Julie ❤ Xmas Hair – Rezlpsa Loc
+ Remember Me Cowl – Ingenue
+ Flaustic Thermal (pack of 5) – Sonic Death Monkey
+ Ice Queen Make up & Eyes – Evie
+ Icicle Shirt – AJA
Training Suit – Bubble
+ Christmas Shirts – Babycakes
+ Pink Scarf – ViLada
+ Frost Shirt – Babycakes
+ Snowflake Wrapped Scarf – aRAWRa
+ Knit Cap – Cri Cri
+ Cigar Santa Tank – Razorblade Jacket
+ Snowflake Chonies – Black&Blue Outfitters
+ Beat to Shit Tattoo layer – Fallen Doll
++ PLEASE NOTE ++ Me showing the tattoo layer does not mean I am in any way condoning or glamourising violence to women as is suggested by some people in the comments. I am merely showing the item as it is in the hunt along with other items that are also in the hunt.
+ Happiness Shared Bracelet – Frippery
+ Xmas Undies Set – Kid Asia
+ My Snowflake Tattoo and Nom – Pom.Pom
+ My Snowflake Make up – Pom.Pom
+ Flocon – Acide!
+ Fugg Boot – Frop
+ Scarf and Hat set – Zenith Fashions Freebie (inside their FTLO store)
+ Christmas Panties set – LiQsuM
+ Cigar Santa Tank – Razorblade Jacket
+ Cutie Garlands Boots – Sassy Kitty Designs
+ Cutie Garlands Ear Muffs – Sassy Kitty Designs (free in their FTLO Store)
+ Holiday Tree – Tea Soup
+ Huggable Snow Globe – Epic
+ JFDI Earrings – Aglaia
+ Xmas End Table – Virtual/Insanity
+ Wintery Landerns – Its Cake
+ Frosty Fence – Malfean Visions
+ Box of Decorations – Real Living
+ Set of 3 Candles – Kis Kis
+ Cosy Campfire – Cool Beans
+ Wearable Wreath – Estetica
+ Snow is falling pose – Pom.Pom (free gift for the FTLO festival found in their FTLO store)
+ Ice Shift Mohawk – Gilded
+ Winters Kiss Skin by Heartsick (60L as part of the FabFree Xmas Shopping Tour)
+ Mistle Cori Hair by Magika ( not free )
+ Frozen Eyes Freebie by Umedama Freebies
+ Black Unisex Jeans by AQUA ( not free )
+ Poses by Lovesick, Del May, Flowey, Marukin, Don’t Freak Out!, Fri.Day, Long Awkward Pose, Kuso, Persona, Glitteratti, Diesel Works, Striking Poses
FabFree - Fabulously Free in SL 
December 6, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Great Post!!! I had to make a list of all the things I want to go get! Oh and the new Heartsick skin looks wonderful on you!
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December 6, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Thank you for blogging my items! ❤ Merry Christmas
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December 7, 2010 at 10:10 am
Juuuust curious, but where are the black jeans from? I’ve seen them in a few posts of yours now, and I go crazy over them every time I see them, but I haven’t found anywhere that you mention where they’re from. I tried finding a post that mentioned them, but no luck, so I decided to just go ahead and ask here. d:
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December 7, 2010 at 1:14 pm
The black jeans are from AQUA 😀
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December 7, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Love your posts, Whisper!!! Where’s the mistletoe hair from, its sooo cute!!
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December 7, 2010 at 1:26 pm
nevermind… if i finish reading the post, i’d know… sorry.. lol
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December 9, 2010 at 6:23 am
Oh, how pretty! Gosh, absolutely nothing says Christmas better than an adorable little elf who has been “Beat to Shit,” does it? Yay! I know that Peace, Goodwill, and Violence against Women is how I like to sum up the Holiday Season!
One of the more common justifications for “abuse” or “rape” skins and layers such as the “Beat to Shit Tattoo layer” from Fallen Doll shown above is that they are “intended” for role play. I’ve never been particularly impressed by that rationale, given that most of that role play tends to be rape, abuse, or even Dolcett role play, but these are, after all, consensual activities, as vile and potentially harmful as they are. And I can concede, after all, that there may be a (very small) niche market for such skins and layers in combat RP, or among the artists producing machinima and the like.
A more thorny problem is when these skins appear, as they invariably do now, as fashion accessories. And unless we are to assume that the model above is depicted as RPing an elite Santa commando who has been valiantly defending the North Pole against attack while in her underwear, that’s precisely what you have given us, Whisper: “Abuse Chic.”
The problem with “Abuse Chic” is that it takes the visible markers of real life abuse — abrasions, contusions, cuts, blood, and what-have-you — and implicitly argues that, rather than horrifying us, these signs should really be a kind of turn on. Gosh, how SEXY it is to have had the shit beaten out of one! How TOUGH these women look, sporting the erotic trophies of having been brutally assaulted: nothing bespeaks our strength as women so well as the visible signs of victimization! How very desirable is a woman who looks as though she has punched and kicked all over the body!
Perhaps, Whisper, to ensure that your next photo shoot is REALLY sexy, you should set it in a shelter for abused women, or a rape crisis centre?
Thank you, then, for contributing so gainfully to the continued desensitization of our culture to violence against women, Whisper. Who knows? Thanks to the efforts of fashionistas like yourself, soon when we see a woman in real life with a black eye, bruises, or cuts, we won’t need to look away in embarrassed silence: instead, we’ll be able to congratulate her for her wonderful fashion flair!
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December 9, 2010 at 7:00 am
“…and there is some gorgeous stuff from the very generous designers involved in this event…”
What is gorgeous about abuse and violence against women? Looking at “Beat to Shit Tattoo layer – Fallen Doll” gives me the creeps. Whoever made this tattoo and whoever chose it for this event and blog…. what the fuck were you thinking? What’s cool and fashionable and sexy about violating human rights? This is just sick.
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December 9, 2010 at 9:16 am
And the point of the “Beat to shit tattoo” is:
1- Stating women being beaten up is cool and funny;
2 – Stating women look sexier after being beaten up;
3 – Stating after being beaten up, all women will dress sexy outfits.
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December 9, 2010 at 11:02 am
Sorry but violence against a woman is not so sexy or fun…maybe sometimes we should remember those women who really have those signs on their bodies…
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December 9, 2010 at 12:05 pm
First of all I must say I find it extremely rude to attack a blogger because they are showing what is available. Whisper didn’t make the skin, she is just showing the skins for those who might want them.
Second, You really should get out more. There are MANY RPing communities where people fight each other, even WOMEN. These communities have nothing to do with rape or abuse, but they are fighting role play. From the comments it seems that just because we are women we shouldn’t be allowed to participate in fighting combat roleplay.
I have male friends who often wear beat up skin for RPing. Carson has even blogged several male skins that were battered. No one has ever commented that he was raped or abused. No one gets upset when my male friends wear beat up skins. What I find appalling is that men can wear these skins and there is no problem, yet women can’t. I thought women had rights too now…. Can we not have bloody skins in our inventories like our male counterparts do?
Before someone leaves a comment saying I don’t understand or something, let me explain something. I have been raped. I have been abused. I left an abusive relationship after several black eyes and one broken arm. That being said I don’t degrade the models in the domestic violence posters, even though they are wearing makeup to look abused. I know its not real on those posters, just as I know in SL it’s not real. If someone can’t tell the difference then they should leave.
I promise Whisper wasn’t hurt in the making of this blog post.
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December 9, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I’ll second the notion that skins of this nature send the wrong message. Who is supposed to be attracted to that?
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December 9, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Wow unless you designed the tattoo, how would you know what the point of the tattoo was? I think the point is for women to have a skin to wear in combat roleplaying.
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December 9, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Renee, possibly you might do me the courtesy of actually reading my post next time before responding to it. If you *had*, you would have noted that I conceded that skins such as this are used, more or less “legitimately,” for combat RP.
One of the problems with this picture is that it is patently NOT of someone doing combat RP. Unless of course it’s a very strange sort of combat RP indeed, involving women rolling around in undies. Oh wait. That’s called mud-wrestling.
The whole point of my post was that the *context* of this presentation — an attractive, scantily clad woman who is self-evidently NOT engaged in combat RP — turns this skin into a fashion accessory. Had the model been wearing armour, or carrying weapons, this pic would have carried a whole different meaning. As it is, now, it suggests that cuts and bruises can be put on as easily as makeup, and to the same purpose: because it makes one more “attractive.”
And for *choosing* to present this skin in this particular context, not as an RP accessory, but as a fashion statement, Whisper is very very much to blame. It was *her* decision to present this the way it has been here.
Let me also point out that this tattoo layer is *not* called “Tough Girl,” or “Chicks Who Fight,” or indeed anything else that suggests it is for combat RP. It is called “Beat to Shit.” The whole focus of the name is upon victimization: this tattoo is intended to signify, not someone who is fighting, but someone who has been “beat to shit.” The name of the tattoo does *not* signify that the woman wearing it has done anything other than be the passive victim of abuse.
Your comparison of this picture in a fashion blog with a representation of an abused woman on a poster advocating an *end* to domestic abuse is, btw, not merely silly, but borders on the offensive.
I am sincerely very sorry to hear that you have yourself been the victim of sexual assault and abuse. This *does* give you a particular perspective on this issue. It does not, however, give you the only perspective, nor even necessarily a privileged one. I’d be happy to introduce you to women who, like you, have experienced real life assault and abuse, and whose feelings about the trivialization of representations of abuse through “abuse chic” are quite diametrically opposed to your own.
Incidentally, on occasions where I have seen fashion blogs feature men who have been beaten, but who are not in an RP context, I have criticized those as well. Abuse is never cool, and it is NOT fashionable, regardless of who the victim is.
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December 9, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Hmm the context of the presentation? You mean cause Whisper showed the skin like she shows all skins? If you look at the posts made by Whisper you will notice that she shows all skins in undies so that the readers can actually see the details in the skins.
Also if you have read this blog ever in the past you would know we just show the gifts. We don’t reenact some scene or anything like that. She showed the skin, or rather tattoo layer, just as she does every skin on the blog. I’m glad she shows skins this way so we know what we are getting.
In the past Carson has also shown beat up skins in his boxers. No one commented negatively on that except to ask where to find it. No where did Whisper show this skin in a negative context. Also, there is nothing stating that the skin isnt meant for role play combat. I do believe in combat someone can get beat to shit….
Did you know that just this week a woman died trying to protect equality?
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December 9, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Also, we do not use models. We spend our time taking pictures of ourselves and writing the entries. The pictures are of Whisper and she showed the skin perfectly, just as she does all skins posted.
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December 9, 2010 at 12:46 pm
That she shows the skin or tattoo layer “just as she does every skin on the blog” is *precisely* the problem, Renee.
Do you not understand that this tattoo layer is *not* just like “every skin” presented here?
*They* are conventionally “pretty” or “attractive” skins. The ” Beat to shit” tattoo layer, on the other hand, depicts a woman who has been, yes, “beat to shit.” The skin carries an explicit message of violence and victimization that is not present in the other skins: *that* is why the context is important.
The whole point of my argument is that, in treating this tattoo layer in precisely the same way as she does other fashion accessories, she is implicitly suggesting that they *are* all the same: they are *all*, even the “Beat to Shit” layer, just “fashion accessories.”
And, to repeat, treating the visible signs of violence as though they were nothing more than fashion add-ons to achieve that attractive and “sexy” look is just plain trivializing what they *actually* represent in RL.
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December 9, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Um did you forget this is SL, it’s not real life??? Maybe it’s time you turn off the computer for a bit if showing a combat beat to shit skin is going to get you that upset.
We have all have shown skins in our underwear before and the skins aren’t always pretty or attractive. Did you miss out on the Halloween season where every other skin I posted was bloody? I’m sure you could find those posts and put me down for how I showed them too. We show skins so that the reader can see the details. If you don’t like it then close the page. It is not okay to abuse the bloggers for doing their job and showing readers what is out there. Or do you think that kind of abuse is okay?
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December 9, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Ok, just so I am clear, you are now suggesting that my criticisms of this blog post are somehow “abusive,” and comparable to violence against women?
And you think that *I* need some perspective?
This is a public blog. It presumably seeks readers, and wants responses: it has a “comments” feature. If someone, in this case Whisper, says something wrong or stupid in a public blog, then, yes, I am going to critique that. I too blog, a fair amount, and I have received more than my fair share of negative comments and responses: it comes with the territory. If Whisper can only handle responses with the intellectual content of “Ooooh! Pretty!” then I suggest that she get out of the business of writing publicly available posts.
Your point about the Halloween skin, frankly, reinforces my own argument, and my sense that you really are not “getting” this whole context thing. I would not criticize a Halloween post, precisely *because* it is a Halloween post: the skins shown there are obviously intended as *costumes* and not merely as fashion accessories. They belong in the context of Halloween, a holiday where everyone wears costumes that probably have little to do with everyday fashion.
A case in point: Cupcakes sells a tattoo layer entitled “Fighter” which also includes bruises and black eyes. I do not object to it precisely because it is sold in the “Costumes” section of their store. Cupcakes has recognized that that particular layer is *different* from most of the other items it sells. The name “Fighter” also explicitly indicates an RP context, which, despite your continued use of the word “combat,” “Beat to Shit” does not.
I am well aware of the distinction between RL and SL, thank you very much. I am also aware, as you seem not to be, that what we see and experience online, in books, on posters, and, yes, in SL, affects attitudes. Why is it that you think billions of dollars are spent on advertising every year? Have you never heard of any of the studies showing the negative impacts that fashion advertising has had upon women’s body images?
The whole point of SL fashion is that it allows us to make “statements” about who we are. Wearing this skin in the context of a mere fashion spread, without any contextualization, makes exactly the *wrong* kind of statement about abuse: it suggests that violence against women can be “pretty,” and it trivializes the real thing by depicting its effects as nothing more than fashion accessories.
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December 9, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Yes what you are doing is abusing the blogger for showing what is available. Did you write the store owner who gave this gift and put them down? Whisper is just showing the skin. Have you done research to find out if the skin was meant to be for a rape/abuse victim or for role play? The name could go either way, you can be beat to shit in combat. You put that you were commenting because Whisper was wrong. How was she wrong? She didnt comment about the skin at all, she put the name and where it was from and posted a picture so the readers could see. And then you attacked her. I don’t see how you think the post showed that “violence against women can be “pretty,”, all I see is it shows the bloody skin. I didn’t see pretty at all, but I guess a twisted mind could see whatever they wanted to see.
As for the further comments putting down Whisper, she hasnt even been online. I think you are an abusive person to put down a blogger for showing what’s out there. Whisper didn’t make the skins or tattoos, She showed them just as we show all skins or tattoo layers. We show items this way so that the reader can actually see them. That does not give you the right to put down the blogger. Furthermore, even though a blog is public you have no right to put down a blogger for doing their job.
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December 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm
The major point I want to make is apparently it is okay for men to wear these type of skins. If a male skin was called “Beat to Shit” the automatic thought process isn’t going to be rape or abuse, it’s going to be combat. It is terrible that women can’t be treated the same as men. I can only hope that one day we will be equal. Unfortunately there are people like Scylla who continually push women back.
Carson showed a bloody skin a few months ago and the only comments were of praise. Carson showed the skins just as we all do, in our undies so that the details can be seen. So whats the difference between a male showing a skin, and a female showing a skin?
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December 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm
To roleplay, or otherwise derive some kind of fun or pleasure out of what is a real and painful state of the lives of real women in the real world shows at the least an incredible lack of compassion or unbelievabale and apalling ignorance.
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December 9, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I too am glad whisper posted her findings. She always takes well detailed photos for us to see, even if they show something we’d rather not see. That is one Serious RP tat and Santa looks good with that cigar.
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December 9, 2010 at 2:02 pm
On the score of wishing for equality, Renee, we can at least agree.
It is because I believe that equality is so important that I have, as I noted above, criticized the use of “beaten” or “abuse” skins as fashion accessories for men too. One example is right here:
http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2010/07/fight-club-fashion-in-second-life.html
Trivializing violence and abuse is just not a good idea, regardless of who the victim is.
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December 9, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Whatever your individual interpretation of an item is doesn’t give your the right to project your negative assumptions on our blog and bloggers. If there are questions about how we mean for the pictures to come across, then ask.
The fact is, we often show skins in our undies so the readers can view the skins/tattoo layers in their entirety. We used to blog those completely nude, but due to wordpress regulations we use underwear.
Whisper deserves apologies for these negative comments. Please dont objectify Whisper and treat her with less respect just because she portrays a role playing female av in a picture.
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December 9, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Well holy shit, look what happens when I go away for a while.
I am extremely sorry if you take the tattoo to mean that it was abusive in a weak female perspective. I know I certainly didnt. Being that I RP’d in SL for over 3 years as plenty of strong female roles, I certainly didnt take it in the view of a weak female being raped or beaten, rather more in a Tank Girl view of things.. But I guess Im wrong hey.. Im clearly stupid.
And no that isnt belittling anyone who has been the victim of abuse, physical or emotional. Being that I too have been the victim of physical and emotional abuse, I am in no position to belittle anyone as I have lived that life.
I certainly didnt mean to upset anyone by simply showing the things that are available in the hunt. I didnt conciously go about dressing skimpily or whatever for this particular picture, I was simply putting things together from the hunt to show things off as best as they could be shown without interfering with each other.. sorry but thats my only intention. No ulterior motive, no other agenda. I didnt pose this in a fashionable way, just simply me stood there showing what the heck was in the hunt. I wore the underwear and the shirt because they were in the hunt aswell and helped to show the tattoo as best as it could be shown. The hair was in the hunt to. I didnt actively seek to be all “abuse chic” as you call it. So don’t you dare try to say what my intentions were.
And yeah, I show skins and tattoos in my underwear so people can see as much detail as they can. There has been plenty of times when I have gone to buy a skin and there was only pictures of the face and I have been disapointed by the body, simply from an aesthetic point of view, not for anything else. Not because Im a stripper or an escort or I use my body to get perverts off.. but because I appreciate the beauty of the art put into it and that allows myself to create art.. So I show people as much detail as I can. Is that a crime? To show people what they can expect when they buy something?
And before you get on your high horse and pick out the words from that paragraph to twist them and say I think that bruised and battered skins are beautiful and artistic, re-read the paragraph and realise I am explaining why I show skins and tattoos in my underwear and that I am referring to the 99% majority of fashion and beauty skins, not the 1% horror and RP skins that you all show offence to. Obviously those arent beautiful but they arent meant to be. Im not a moron to think that so don’t try to make me out to be one because you think you can rip my words and use them against me.
But I’d like to draw your attention to those girls in SL who wear Zombie skins and dress up all sexily… surely those people are glorifying necrophelia by your definitions of how to show skins off? Why don’t those get the same kind of response?
I have worn bloodied and bruised tattooes and skins before now and nothing has elicited such a response. I suppose it is because of the name of the tattoo.. if it were called another name, maybe something to do with Vampires or Werewolves for example, then it wouldnt have caused such a response.. Maybe a zombie inspired name as if I were battling for my life through hoards of Zombies?
If you want to question my intentions then thats up to you. I know my intentions and I stand by them. If you don’t like it, then you make up whatever you want to believe like you already have and ignore my point of view.
I show peoples creations in the best way I can, in the most detail I can. That is my job and I am good at what I do. I didnt make the tattoo, I didnt sell the tattoo.. I simply participated in a hunt and showed the results of my findings. I guess it is up to my discretion not to show things from a hunt.. If anything I have ever blogged offends, then I simply offer my apologies.
Quite simply if you want me to quit doing this, then fine. I will hand in my notice and give the whole thing up. Clearly Im just an offensive piece of shit blogger who has no clue about anything.
Thanks then. You’re welcome. Bye bye
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December 9, 2010 at 8:29 pm
I’ll put in my 2 cents…. If you don’t like the tattoo, tell the designer or just don’t wear it. Don’t run down someone that spends countless hours scouring the grid looking for free and cheap items that benefits so many readers. Whisper was only showing what was available, as do Renee, Farah, and myself.
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December 9, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Why is it when they see a man all beat up…they think “Oh he must have been in a fight!” and when they see a woman all beat up…they think Omg, she must have got beat up by some guy” ?
Anyways Whisper, I think you do a great but thankless job!
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December 10, 2010 at 1:21 pm
I agree, Scylla’s being abusive. Pretty ironic.
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December 10, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Whisper, please don’t let one persons point of view make you quit doing something you like to do. And you are NOT a piece of shit anything. Some people just can’t stand to not be the center of attention and can’t handle not having the last word.
The whole point of SL, as most of us with common sense know, is to live out whatever life you want to live in a virtual space. For some people, like me, it gives freedom of mobility, a life not riddled with disease and limitations. For others, it allows them to express their darkest or brightest dreams without fear of ridicule (most of the time) or judgement. And what’s great about SL is that, if you aren’t into something, YOU DON’T HAVE TO PARTICIPATE!
There are people who are into things that general people can’t fathom. That is THEIR business. And if someone wants to create a product that will cater to a specific set, that is also THEIR business. If you don’t like it, DON’T PARTICIPATE OR BUY THE PRODUCTS.
Whisper, Renee, Carson, Farah, and anyone else who blogs here, remember that those who come here to do nothing but criticize are the minority. Most of us all love this blog and truly appreciate your hard work and dedication to help make SL more enjoyable and expedient for everyone.
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December 10, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Okay, I wasn’t going to comment, but I can’t stop thinking about it, so here goes. Whisper, don’t even for a second take some of these comments too seriously. I saw the skin in the post, went “so not my thing” and went on about my business. For anyone to attack you or anyone else in FF is just ridiculous. No one is being *forced* to wear those skins. I didn’t like it, I didn’t go get it, simple as that. Nor should you have to justify why you even showed it. It was a hunt prize, people might be interested, that’s it, that’s all.
And Carson does indeed show male skins with those marks all the time without the big fuss. It’s just a ridiculous overreaction and the bloggers shouldn’t be harassed about it.
As for you, Renee, you put up with SO much nonsense and you keep doing this job. You shouldn’t have to defend yourself or your bloggers and you shouldn’t have to bring up painful times in your own life to support yourself. You’re absolutely right and I am so sorry you had to go through those things then or have to think about them in this context now.
In other words, all the bloggers are FF do an amazing job and should be thanked. If someone sees something they find distasteful, go to the people who designed the skin (in this case), not the people that point out what is or is not available on the grid.
FF provides a service, you get out of it is what you put into it. I, for one, appreciate what you all do. So thank you. 🙂
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December 10, 2010 at 7:36 pm
LOL.
You’re all absolutely right. I entirely agree. God forbid that we should have a discussion about something as problematic and complicated as depictions of abuse in Second Life.
“Oh! PRETTY!!”
There. All better now?
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December 10, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Amazing how one simple thing can cascade, isn’t it?
Whisper, I support you. Please remember that, for every one person who over-reacts, there are probably a hundred who do not and support you completely.
FabFree is awesome, and I appreciate every inch of work you do, and every item you show. Thank you for your hard work, and for your posts.
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December 10, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Wow Scylla you really like to attack others and put them down for helping others in SL don’t you. No one said the tattoo layer was pretty. Whisper did not deserve to be attacked by you or anyone else. If you would open your eyes you would notice that the tattoo was posted along with other items from the hunt. The particular store in question makes role play items for combat like the beat to shit tattoo. Whisper blogged the tattoo in the same setting as she posted everything else from the hunt. The reason for the post was to display the hunt prizes. I’m sorry if you want everything in life to be about being the victim, but sometimes its simply not. You can try and twist it as much as you’d like, but you will not turn us into victims. We are not victims.
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December 10, 2010 at 9:00 pm
I love Whisper’s posts. I love everyone else’s posts, too, but Whisper’s are my favorites.
Whisper, you are good at what you do. You post amazing finds, and I pretty much always grab up everything you post, with the exception of some group gifts because I’m at my group limit. lol
The skin can be taken in many different ways, which I don’t think people are realizing here. Yes, it could be about abuse…but it could also be about fighting. Or what if this is an abuse victim who was “beat to shit” but came out on top anyway? It could be about victory and not about defeat.
And, there are people who do find scars sexy–both men and women, on both men and women–as a reminder of the fact that because of or in spite of that scar, said scarred person is still alive, able to be loved and cherished.
Personally, the skin isn’t my thing. I saw it and moved on. It wasn’t a post glorifying violence against women, and anyone who has read any of Whisper’s posts would know that she would never glorify such a horrible thing. So it’s time for people to simmer down and move on.
Again, Whisper, you are great at what you do, and I am so glad you keep doing it. Ignore the haters.
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December 11, 2010 at 1:28 am
Thank you Whisper for another wonderful post 🙂 I love hunts, I love to RP, I love skins, and I love your posts! I just want you to know that you are very much appreciated by many of your readers. Please don’t pay any attention to the sarcastic and insensitive posters above. There is no excuse for their abusive words. If they felt the need to express their views they should have done it in a mature manner. I for one love the “Beat to Shit” tattoo layer (and yes, I use it for RP, so Scylla Rhiadra can rest, assured in knowing that I do not promote physical abuse). I would also like to point out that the tattoo layer IS unisex, so it was not made to promote violence against women. Please don’t stop blogging Whisper!
P.S. Renee, I think you’re pretty darn awesome too 🙂
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December 11, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Whisper, Renee, Carson, i love you guys to bits! And Farah too
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December 11, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Scylla… just get over it would ya? You want some praise? Fine. Thanks for bringing an important topic such as abuse to light.
Now sit down, shut up, and move on. kthxbai. 😀
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December 12, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Some of us who have been beaten and who do advocate for women and for self-defense and for moving out of victim mindset and forward into the land of the living don’t see everything as an attack on poor helpless victims. This skin is cool, and if people would learn to stop leading with their wounds perhaps they could move into a place of not thinking every single solitary thing is about them being a victim of one thing or another. I understand that living in a victim space means not having to ever take responsibility for anything ever, but those of us who have worked hard to become whole beings really don’t appreciate those who choose not to, to speak for those of us who have.
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December 13, 2010 at 9:43 am
I was going through the recent blog posts looking specifically for Whisper posts (I love your posts, seriously; you do an amazing job of showing me what is out there) and came across this. I’m a little shocked.
First of all, I have to agree that Scylla was being abusive. I’m all for open discussion and think that people always have a right to comment on public blogs if they have something to say. I think fostering dialogue and debate can be a great thing. Doing it in a way that starts out by attacking and demeaning other people, however, is not a mature, responsible, healthy way to go about having a discussion. I know that sometimes it is what comes naturally, because often the remarks are fueled greatly by emotion, but that way of addressing a topic can often be harmful.
Second, Renee, I’m so glad you responded and defended Whisper’s post. While I thought a few of your comments were harsh and offensive as well, it was refreshing to read your responses, and I just want you to know that they were appreciated and that I thank you for offering some counter-arguments.
Third, not all people use abused/beaten/bloody skins in the same way. As has already been mentioned in this post, they’re often used for RP purposes. But sometimes they’re used to raise awareness, sometimes they’re used because they fit the way a person feels at the time, and sometimes they’re used for creative purposes (inspiration, for instance). There are even more reasons people use them, I’m sure. I know that I, for one, have used beaten skins at times. I’ve also used crying skins. They show certain states and certain emotions that I can’t get with regular skins, and they appeal to me for various reasons. Sometimes it’s purely metaphorical (I feel worn out/beat up by life, as one example), and other times, I AM focused on the abuse aspect. There have been times when I’ve put on the skins, walked around, and contemplated the entire history of abuse and have used the skins as creative inspiration–a way to provoke artistic thought so that I could work on writing about the topic in a way that is enlightening, gripping, and emotion-inducing.
Abuse has been a huge topic in my life. As you know, Scylla, I’m sure, there’s a pretty big percentage of the population that has experienced abuse. Few people have been untouched by it. Many of us have experienced it ourselves or have known others who have experienced it. I’m lucky enough to be able to say that I haven’t experienced it to the extent that many people, unfortunately, have. I have seen a great deal of it take place, though, and have focused a lot of attention on it in my life. My grandmother was murdered by her husband when my mother was only two years old. When I was a child, my mother ended up in the hospital and was so close to dying after her husband (my step-father) stabbed her in the chest. My sister was abused and only got free from the abuse when her boyfriend was arrested for charges not related to the domestic violence. I have had multiple family members (very close family members) traumatized by child abuse/molestation as well. I had a best friend who was regularly abused by her angry parents who didn’t know of healthy ways to release that negative emotion and energy. The entire cycle of violence thoroughly disturbs me, and it is something that often pains me despite the fact that, fortunately, I haven’t been the direct victim of domestic abuse. As an empathetic and compassionate person, I’m not completely desensitized to this type of thing, and, as I mentioned before, the entire topic of abuse (and not just domestic abuse) is a huge deal to me.
All of that being said, though, I don’t think that having, creating, or showing an abused skin is inherently wrong. Yes, there can be repercussions of certain behaviors, and I think it’s noble that you seek to enlighten and make people aware of those potential repercussions, but it doesn’t require being rude, offensive, and judgmental. Whisper’s intentions were obviously not to harm or offend others. She was showing the tattoo layer, as Renee has said over and over again, in those clothes because they did a good job of showing the detail. Furthermore, as Whisper pointed out, there were multiple items in that picture that were from the hunt and were being shown to the readers. As someone who spent the first year of her SL pretty much doing hunts non-stop, I have to say that I often ended up looking a lot like Whisper after opening and trying on my hunt prizes–a mix of random items that sometimes went well together and sometimes didn’t.
How you interpret it is based on your perspective, and that makes sense. That’s fine, considering that there isn’t really any other way for it to be. But please be aware that not everyone sees it the way that you do and that there are some who think abused skins can contribute in some positive and beneficial ways. It might not readily make sense, because of course it could seem as though it is meant to glamorize the signs of abuse, but that isn’t always the case. People have different intentions when creating or using products, and Whisper’s only intention here was to show the product. Perhaps in the future she’ll include a trigger warning or will include a message that states that she does not support or condone violence against women (or anyone), if she does indeed feel that way, but her not stating anything like that is not reason enough to attack her. In the future, Scylla, please be more civil–for all of our sakes. Educating does not require attacking, judging, or belittling. I’ve often witnessed this in crowds of seemingly more “enlightened”/”aware” people, and those people don’t realize that, unfortunately, they’re often detracting from their message/cause rather than giving it more strength. If there’s a point that you want to make others see or if you do indeed simply want dialogue, there’s a good chance that you’ll hinder yourself in the process if you begin by attacking or belittling.
One last thing, to Whisper: though it was said in a negative, offensive manner, please do take something from what Scylla said about being able to handle only “Oh, pretty!” comments. I have no doubt that you can handle negative criticism and have probably already done a great deal of that in your life, but just keep in mind that sometimes people’s comments will be fueled by anger, shock, ignorance, or disgust rather than logic and cool, calm rationale, so you will have to deal with things like this at times. But please don’t let it bring you down or break you down. Like I said in the beginning of this comment, I love your blog posts. Whenever I come to this blog and go through an entire page of posts and don’t see a single post of yours, I’m all sadfaced. I’ve watched this blog for a long time, since before you were even a part of the bloggers, but there was sometimes just…something missing for me. (Other bloggers, please don’t be offended by that! I don’t mean it as an insult.) Whatever was missing for me was brought by you, and I’ve come to absolutely love your blog posts, the way you present the items you find in pictures, the way you write about the items, and, of course, your shape. You’ve done a lot of positive work, in bringing awareness to size/body image issues and also the topic of depression and self-injury (with the TWLOHA stuff, for instance), and I (and many others, I’m sure) really appreciate that. Thanks so much for that. Whatever you decide to do, whether it is to continue blogging in this manner or to take a turn in your blogging or to move on to something else entirely, is up to you. You do not have to please your critics or supporters. It’s your choice and always will be, but just please never let comments fueled by negativity bring you down or make you feel bad or hesitant about doing what you do. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and I know you know that.
(Added note: the only reason I’m not leaving my name is because I mention family members. I’m not ashamed of my message in the slightest bit.)
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December 13, 2010 at 2:16 pm
You know, it also just occurred to me that she DOES have a tough, fighter-chick appeal with the smoking Santa with angry ‘brows tank top.
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December 13, 2010 at 6:34 pm
You know what, I don’t give a damn if people think Im pretty or not or if my pictures are pretty or not, its not why I blog. I don’t go out of my way to be all pretty, I just look how I look and I take the pictures the best way I see how.
I am not and never have been someone who is all about pretty pretty fashion nor do I cry over someone thinking Im ugly or whatever.. I have had enough people tell me how fat I am in SL and RL because Im not the norm, but I don’t really care anymore. I’ve learned to deal with it and see it as their problem not mine. My only annoyance with the reactions to this post was people putting words into my mouth when all I did was show what was in a hunt.
I didnt show it in a sexy way, I did the best I could to show the item in a way that wouldnt be sexy but would still show as much of the item as possible.. end of.
If people want to view it as sexy it is their problem not mine.
I stand by my post, people can think what they like its a free world.. but I didnt want all of this.
If people want to instigate a discussion about abuse Im all for it as I have lived with and been a victim of abuse both physical and mental.. but they shouldnt do it in an abusive way themselves nor put words into other peoples mouths. It is counter productive to the point they are trying to make and just causes more drama.
In the future I’ll just leave the bruised skins to the boys.
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